I’m Bad at Drawing

The Story Behind My Stories

Part #2: I Can’t Draw!

“That’s great, honey. But, you know you can’t draw, right?”

I remember that as the exact response my mom gave me when I told her I wanted to be a comic book artist.

Now, don’t give her any crap. Not only was she right, but she meant it in the right way. She wasn’t trying to put me down in any way. She was just making sure that I understood my dream was not going to come easily in the least. And, now that I’ve gotten a couple books published, I can say: She was right!

At that time, It was 2012 and I was just 17 years old and graduating high school. And, the best (worst?) part was that just about any grade-school kid could still draw better than I could:

What was a girl to do? Give up?

Believe me, I’d love to tell you how I, “Refused to give up,” or “Always knew my dreams would come true.” While there may have been a small voice inside me that always thought these things, if I’m being completely honest, there were plenty of times that I thought the exact opposite.

I didn’t really start drawing with any real earnestness well into my late teens, and it wasn’t until I was turning 20 that I developed the idea behind Maiden in Disguise.

Which is kind of a funny thing, because I never really expected Maiden in Disguise to take on a life of its own. It’s not super crazy popular yet (though it is gaining way more traction than I thought I’d ever have), but the story is becoming much more involved than I originally intended, which is both exciting and scary.

You see, when you grow up as a kid in similar circumstances as me (You can read about that HERE), it’s pretty easy to convince yourself that you’ll never be “good enough” at anything, especially something that you’re really not talented in to begin with.

The reason why Maiden in Disguise became a story was due to a conversation I had with my husband (who was my boyfriend, back then) during a drive back home from Detroit, MI. He was telling me that it doesn’t matter how “bad” I believe I am, I just needed to start putting something, anything really, out there for the world to see and experience, and his reasoning was something like this:

So, during our drive, I hashed out the initial story idea of Maiden in Disguise and vowed not only to draw the very first page, but to publish it online somewhere for all the world to see.

Which, let me tell you, when you sincerely believe that your art completely sucks, this was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done.

Originally being published on Tapas (called Tapastic back then), I also eventually started publishing MiD on Webtoon a couple years later when I found much more interaction and exposure on that platform.

During those early days, I “cheated” quite a bit. Meaning, that I used many of the 3D model tools available on my drawing software programs to aid me in designing my characters, helping to keep them consistent throughout the pages and panels. But, I knew this wasn’t the way I wanted to make my art in the long-term, because it wouldn’t fully be “my art.” So, I devoted quite a bit of time to studying anatomy books to learn how to draw my own style, with my own hands, in my own way.

Which was happening concurrently as I published my pages online. It’s something you can easily make notice of, as there are a couple of instances in my current story that the art style drastically improves. I hope it adds to the experience and really shows the journey:

If you are a consistent reader of Maiden in Disguise, you can see quite a few instances that just make you cringe a little on the inside (and maybe the outside, too). If you’re one of the individuals who never noticed or left positive feedback, well, thank you for being a kind hooman; you’re a good part of the reason why I never stopped.

And, I can honestly say now that I’ve finally gotten to the point where I am happy with my art 90% of the time. Here’s one of my personal favorite panels from recent pages of MiD:

There are still times where my consistency hiccups, and there are art challenges I still have yet to overcome. But, it makes me so glad to finally see that I have a style that is completely my own, yet still shows the progress of my early drawings.

Once again, I’m not sure why I’m writing all this. Maybe it’s a hope of mine that someone who believes they suck will read it and believe maybe they can suck a little less in the future. Maybe it’s just something I needed to get off my chest.

Either way, I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about The Story Behind my Stories.

Until next time . . .

Stay Strange, Strangers!